Letter to Myself

Ok, so I haven't posted in a LONG time. Lots of stuff has passed, including my birthday! For my birthday post, I was intending on doing something I've seen done tons of times and always wanted to do myself. A letter to myself '' x amount of years ago''. So that's what this post is about. I chose to do a 5 year time span, so this will be written to my 19 year old self.

Dear Tiffany,

     You are trying to decide what to do about college at the moment. You will get it figured out, I promise. There will be a few great semesters, and a few awful and embarrassing semesters. Both are vital. Just take it step by step. Don't stress, although I know that's what you do best (wish I could tell you you learn how to deal with stress soon, but nope. No such luck.) Stick with it though, at least until your '' last'' semester. You are going to shock yourself, in the good way. You will realize you are more capable than you think, and knowing that little bit of truth? Well, it's worth every step that got you there.

     Although, let me say this. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, CHOSE A DIFFERENT SEAT IN PSYCH CLASS. Actually, maybe I shouldn't say that. Your life might turn out different. Just, don't be so stupid. Realize rebound boy when you see him.

     While I'm on the subject of college. You are going to make a new friend (almost immediately), one that turns into a best friend. Everything goes wonderful at first, but let me warn you, it doesn't end good. For awhile you will think it's your fault. Then you smarten up and realize its not. Friendships are supposed to be unconditional. She judges you on more than one area of your life and real friends don't do that. Let this one go, no point wasting time holding a grudge. You are better off without her.

     Although, because of her lack of friendship you end up visiting a true friend, in.... Wait for it. NEW YORK. Yes, I said New York. And this includes the Big Apple. But, unfortunately, you end up disappointing yourself on this trip. Things don't go as planned, but that doesn't mean you can be a bitch. It makes you look stupid too. On a lighter note, feelings get mended and you do get to enjoy your last day in NYC. I won't ruin the trip for you completely, but the city is great, and you end up picking something out for yourself at Tiffanys (go ahead, I'll give you a moment to freak out in excitement.) Oh, and during this trip, you get hooked on Harry Potter. Random fact for you!

     While we are talking about vacations, stop being so depressed about never having been to DisneyWorld. Within the next few years you will have been to Disneyland, DisneyWorld, DisneyWorld again, and also a Disney cruise. And I'm writing this with yet another DisneyWorld vacation in the making. So yeah, calm down. It WILL happen!

     Let's see. Oh! You will start driving soon. I know it seems difficult, but trust me it's not. Just believe in yourself some more. Although I will say, you put your guardian angels through a heck of hard work. Be thankful for them, or because without them, you won't be here 5 years later to write this. Don't let that scare you though!

     On the topic of fears, get over the one of seeing your mom in the hospital. It's hard. Believe me I understand. But it's not ok to ignore her. And when you do go see her, don't act differently. Shes still the amazingly strong woman that she is at home. It's ok to cry, there's some really scary situations coming up. But you need to be there for her, Alyssa isn't her only family member!

     Crazy as it sounds, you will create something someone wants to buy. And it happens more than once. Enjoy the feeling, it's amazing.

     And even crazier, you will have your last piece of bacon (without even realizing it!). You welcome the vegetarian life with arms wide open, and no. You never look back.

     Now... Let's dig a little deeper.

     Big things are about to happen in your life. Things you think are amazing at the time, but turn out to be the worst situations in your life (so far at least). You are going to disappoint yourself big time. You will make a mistake that shakes you up. People will get hurt, including yourself. But, don't let said mistake take over your life. Cry, have a breakdown, but pick yourself back up off the floor and move on. Like they say, after every storm comes a rainbow. And trust me, you get your rainbow.

     That best friend from high school? You will get him back when you least expect it. And yes, he will become your best friend again. Be prepared to pour your heart out to him, and be prepared to let him do the same to you. You both have some huge hurdles to jump through, including a broken engagement and a broken marriage. I won't tell you which of these is yours, that's something I'll let you find out on your own. But let me tell you. You both need each other.

     And while we are talking about this best friend of yours. Remember always wondering what kissing him would be like? Well, I won't ruin everything but trust me. It's well worth the wait. He's going to become something special to you, even more special than being your best friend. But be easy on him. Stop making excuses for why you two won't work out, and instead sit back and watch the mountains he moves just to be with you. Give him a chance, you won't be disappointed.

     Most of all. Just believe in yourself. Stop being so scared to be who you are. Think for yourself, not for everyone else. All the pieces will fall together. It's like they say. Everything happens for a reason, and your life, my dear, is no exception.

Love,
Tiffany