(bare with me today, this post is a little bit confusing!)
Today Javi and I were driving in separate cars to McAlaster's for lunch. We both left from his house, so we were following each other. We needed to be in the far left lane to enter on the freeway. I managed to get over, but the other cars weren't letting Javi in. I slowed down a bit so that he could speed up and get in front of me, but doing that made the car behind me go over into to right lane, I assumed it was because he was getting impatient and wanted to go around me and ultimately cut me off.
Well, I just wasn't having that. The second I saw him switch lanes, I stepped on the gas. I wanted to be behind Javi, not this random jerk. He stayed consistently at my side and I stepped on the gas even harder to make sure I was as close to Javi's car as possible. There was no way I was letting him through. I was getting so upset over this! When I finally merged on the freeway-still behind javi and right where I wanted to be, I smugly looked in my rear view mirror.
My mood completely changed when I realized the car I thought I was fighting with was not behind me. I turned and looked out of my right window and there was the truck, still happily on the feter road. Probably jamming out to music and totally unaware of my selfish efforts to keep him out of "my" spot on the road.
I felt stupid to say the least. I put myself in a bad mood over absolutely nothing. NOTHING. I always do this to myself too. I guess its where the phrase "you are your own worst enemy" comes from. I gained nothing at all from "winning" my spot behind Javi. In fact, I lost. I wasted gas, I wasted a minute of my life that I will never get back, and most of all, I risked getting into an accident. *shakes head*
I let things upset me all the time that aren't worth the time of day. Sure, things might be upsetting, but getting upset is always MY decision. For example, It was upsetting to think that I was about to be cut off, but I could have just gotten over it and focused on the fact that I was on my way to lunch with the greatest man in the world. But instead of thinking that way, I chose to focus on the "jerk" in the car over.
One good thing came from this and that's that I'm making a promise to myself right now to try and be more carefree about things. I chose my reactions, and I want to try from now on to not waste my life getting upset over the little things. It's NEVER worth it. Ever.
Instead I want to laugh and enjoy my life. I want as many happy moments to fill my memory as possible. Cause in the end, I'm the one who suffers from an angry life, nobody else. Why suffer when I have everything needed for a beautiful life? I'm done wasting time.
Here is to what i'm sure won't be an easy journey, but what I'm positive will be worth it.
Until next time,
Tiffany <3
"All that I'm after is a life full of laughter,
As long as I'm laughing with you.
I'm thinking that all that still matters is love ever after
After the life that we've been through."
- Chris Daughtry "Life After You"
(I heard this song while Javi and I were finishing up lunch. It instantly reminded me of the incident that I was just explaining, and about how all I really want from my life is laughter and love. Neither of which comes from anger and a short fused temper.)
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